Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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