nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
