yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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