what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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