I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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