I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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