How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
