You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
