You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
