I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
