One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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