Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
