i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
