I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
