remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
