Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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