We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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