I just saw a hot homeless man
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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