READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
