i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
