New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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