I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
