That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
