No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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