I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
