Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
