No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
