You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
