I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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