I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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