you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
