Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't deserve a penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Damn victory sex feels great
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
where are my eyebrows?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
