fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
