She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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