I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
