He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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