Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
3pm strippers are depressing
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
