So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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