Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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