If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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