hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
