Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
