All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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