Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
