Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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