Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
