i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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