dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
