? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
