why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
