nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
