this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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