whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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