you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
