I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
