Don't make out with my wife yet
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She bit a glass in half.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
