My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
