I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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