...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
