Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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